The Magic Number of How Many Times You Should Ask Someone Out recently revealed the secret number of how many times you should ask a person out in order to gain a successful date.

First of all, it takes bravery and courage to put yourself out there, go out on a limb, and to physically ask a person out on a date. Kudos to you for taking the first step and asking the first time.

When taking that first step, the best approach is the most direct approach, so that there are no misinterpretations of what your intentions are. You want to communicate your intentions and interests while also getting to the point and being clear and concise.

This is not the time to hmm and haw around the subject. A missed opportunity may not present itself again, so be specific in what you want. For example, a suggested way to ask for a date might resemble this statement, “If you’re available Saturday night, would you like to go out on a date with me?”.

That example is a direct, full-disclosure kind of approach that shows initiative, thought, and fearlessness.


If the answer is “yes,” terrific! Skip Down to Know Their Interests.

If their answer is a half-hearted, “Maybe,” or even that they aren’t available, don’t lose the momentum and nerve of the situation. Its time to find out if the person you desire is interested at all and if continued pursuing is required.

Read Her Body Language

Seeking clearer communication from your intended partner early in the possible relationship can save you weeks, even months, of worry and heartache. When you were speaking to her/him did she/he make and hold eye contact with you? When you talk to her/him, does he/she ever voluntarily touch you, like pat your arm or brush your hair from your face. If the answer is yes to these questions, then there is some level of interest in his/her part as these are non-verbal cues of interest and possible pursuing is advisable.

What does Maybe Mean?

A “maybe” could mean a variety of things, so it’s critical at this point to clear up the matter and figure out the other person’s intentions ASAP. A maybe could mean that they are A)waiting for something better to come along; B) No, they just didn’t know how to tell you; C) they truly aren’t sure of their calendar; D) they want to know what kind of date you have planned; or (most likely), E)they really are interested but want to play a little hard to get.

The best direct way to get around the maybe while your confidence is still at its strongest point is to ask your match the following poignant question, “Are you interested in going out on a date with me at all?”


The “at all” eliminates all of the maybe’s and allows for you to get directly to the point. If his/her “maybe,” was choice A related, you didn’t want to date them in the first place.

If it was choice B, this question politely requests of them to be honest with you. If they are hesitant to reject you, and you have to accept the fact that rejection is a part of life, give them a few minutes to answer.

Choices C-E are actually positive response “Maybe’s”; thus, ones leading you into further questioning, but at least most likely resulting in your desired date.

In any of the situations, allow a few moments to pass for them to respond, and pay attention to those non-verbal cues. If, however, their voice seems hesitant, reassure them that you would prefer an honest response. You can offer them a positive experience, but don’t pressure them if they aren’t experiencing the same feelings as you. A proper reading of the non-verbal cues will help you in both the acceptance and rejection of your proposition.

In most scenarios a female is testing to see your interest level and your confidence level, so keep it up, you’re doing great!

Know Their Interests

Ask your prospective date what some of their hobbies or interests are? It would be a shame to waste a night at the opera on a sports fanatic. However, by listening and learning their interests you are continuing to display your confidence, you are wooing them by paying attention to their needs, and you are establishing details to ensure success for your upcoming date.

If when speaking with them about their interests, you stumble upon common ground, take the third go around with a question like this, “You mentioned you like Jazz, I happen to know of a great little club with live music on Friday night. How about we make our date for then?”

Again, this question is direct and to the point but with a few twists. First, you are introducing a common theme for the date, one you know they will enjoy based on your conversation. Secondly, the way you asked them out was in such a way that you already assumed the answer would be yes because based on their body language and the previous conversation, you knew that they wanted to go on a date with you.

Confidence is poignant in putting the question in this manner. Making how many times the magic number to ask a person out is not necessary, it doesn’t follow a rule. The most important thing is: you put yourself out there, you ASK people out.

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